icameawaywithoutsayingaword：iwastoomuchaffected。
atlastihavediscoveredwhattruepleasureis。afterbeholdingtheegotismofsensualityandofintellect；ihavefoundthehappyself…sacrificeofgoodness。pierre；m。antoine；andmotherdenishadallkepttheircarnival；butforthefirsttwo；itwasonlyafeastforthesensesorthemind；whileforthethird；itwasafeastfortheheart。
CHAPTER III
whatwemaylearnbylookingoutofwindow
march3d
apoethassaidthatlifeisthedreamofashadow：hewouldbetterhaveparedittoanightoffever！whatalternatefitsofrestlessnessandsleep！whatdisfort！whatsuddenstarts！whatever…returningthirst！
whatachaosofmournfulandconfusedfancies！wecanneithersleepnorwake；weseekinvainforrepose；andwestopshortonthebrinkofaction。twothirdsofhumanexistencearewastedinhesitation；andthelastthirdinrepenting。
whenisayhumanexistence；imeanmyown！wearesomadethateachofusregardshimselfasthemirrorofthemunity：whatpassesinourmindsinfalliblyseemstousahistoryoftheuniverse。everymanislikethedrunkardwhoreportsanearthquake；becausehefeelshimselfstaggering。
andwhyamiuncertainandrestless鈥斺�攊；apoorday…laborerintheworld鈥斺�攚hofillanobscurestationinacornerofit；andwhoseworkitavailsitselfof；withoutheedingtheworkman？iwilltellyou；myunseenfriend；forwhomtheselinesarewritten；myunknownbrother；onwhomthesolitarycallinsorrow；myimaginaryconfidant；towhomallmonologuesareaddressedandwhoisbuttheshadowofourownconscience。
agreateventhashappenedinmylife！acrossroadhassuddenlyopenedinthemiddleofthemonotonouswayalongwhichiwastravellingquietly；andwithoutthinkingofit。tworoadspresentthemselves；andimustchoosebetweenthem。oneisonlythecontinuationofthatihavefollowedtillnow；theotheriswider；andexhibitswondrousprospects。
onthefirstthereisnothingtofear；butalsolittletohope；ontheotheraregreatdangersandgreatfortune。briefly；thequestionis；whetherishallgiveupthehumbleofficeinwhichithoughttodie；foroneofthoseboldspeculationsinwhichchancealoneisbanker！eversinceyesterdayihaveconsultedwithmyself；ihaveparedthetwoandiremainundecided。
whereshallifindlight鈥斺�攚howilladviseme？
sunday；4th鈥斺�攕eethesuningoutfromthethickfogsofwinter！
springannouncesitsapproach；asoftbreezeskimsovertheroofs；andmywallflowerbeginstoblowagain。
wearenearthatsweetseasonoffreshgreen；ofwhichthepoetsofthesixteenthcenturysangwithsomuchfeeling：
nowthegladsomemonthofmay。
allthingsnewlydotharray；fairestlady；letmetoo。
inthylovemyliferenew。
thechirpingofthesparrowscallsme：theyclaimthecrumbsiscattertothemeverymorning。iopenmywindow；andtheprospectofroofsopensoutbeforemeinallitssplendor。
hewhohaslivedonlyonafirstfloorhasnoideaofthepicturesquevarietyofsuchaview。hehasnevercontemplatedthesetile…coloredheightswhichintersecteachother；hehasnotfollowedwithhiseyesthesegutter…valleys；wherethefreshverdureoftheatticgardenswaves；thedeepshadowswhicheveningspreadsovertheslatedslopes；andthesparklingofwindowswhichthesettingsunhaskindledtoablazeoffire。hehasnotstudiedthefloraofthesealpsofcivilization；carpetedbylichensandmosses；heisnotacquaintedwiththemyriadinhabitantsthatpeoplethem；fromthemicroscopicinsecttothedomesticcat鈥斺�攖hatreynardoftheroofswhoisalwaysontheprowl；orinambush；hehasnotwitnessedthethousandaspectsofaclearoracloudysky；northethousandeffectsoflight；thatmaketheseupperregionsatheatrewithever…changingscenes！howmanytimeshavemydaysofleisurepassedawayincontemplatingthiswonderfulsight；indiscoveringitsdarkerorbrighterepisodes；inseeking；inshort；inthisunknownworldfortheimpressionsoftravelthatwealthytouristslookforlower！
nineoclock鈥斺�攂utwhy；then；havenotmywingedneighborspickedupthecrumbsihavescatteredforthembeforemywindow？iseethemflyaway；eback；perchupontheledgesofthewindows；andchirpatthesightofthefeasttheyareusuallysoreadytodevour！itisnotmypresencethatfrightensthem；ihaveaccustomedthemtoeatoutofmyhand。then；whythisfearfulsuspense？invainilookaround：theroofisclear；thewindowsnearareclosed。icrumblethebreadthatremainsfrommybreakfasttoattractthembyanamplerfeast。theirchirpingsincrease；theybenddowntheirheads；theboldestapproachuponthewing；butwithoutdaringtoalight。
e；e；mysparrowsarethevictimsofoneofthefoolishpanicswhichmakethefundsfallatthebourse！itisplainthatbirdsarenotmorereasonablethanmen！
withthisreflectioniwasabouttoshutmywindow；whensuddenlyiperceived；inaspotofsunshineonmyright；theshadowoftwopricked…upears；thenapawadvanced；thentheheadofatabby…catshoweditselfatthecornerofthegutter。thecunningfellowwaslyingthereinwait；hopingthecrumbswouldbringhimsomegame。
andihadaccusedmyguestsofcowardice！iwassosurethatnodangercouldmenacethem！ithoughtihadlookedwelleverywhere！ihadonlyforgottenthecornerbehindme！
inlife；asontheroofs；howmanymisfortunesefromhavingforgottenasinglecorner！
tenoclock鈥斺�攊cannotleavemywindow；therainandthecoldhavekeptitshutsolongthatimustreconnoitrealltheenvironstobeabletotakepossessionofthemagain。myeyessearchinsuccessionallthepointsofthejumbledandconfusedprospect；passingonorstoppingaccordingtowhattheylightupon。
ah！seethewindowsuponwhichtheyformerlylovedtorest；theyarethoseoftwounknownneighbors；whosedifferenthabitstheyhavelongremarked。
oneisapoorwork…woman；whorisesbeforesunrise；andwhoseprofileisshadoweduponherlittlemuslinwindow…curtainfarintotheevening；theotherisayoungsongstress；whosevocalflourishessometimesreachmyatticbysnatches。whentheirwindowsareopen；thatofthework…womandiscoversahumblebutdecentabode；theother；anelegantlyfurnishedroom。butto…dayacrowdoftradespeoplethrongthelatter：theytakedownthesilkhangingsandcarryoffthefurniture；andinowrememberthattheyoungsingerpassedundermywindowthismorningwithherveildown；andwalkingwiththehastystepofonewhosufferssomeinwardtrouble。ah！iguessitall。hermeansareexhaustedinelegantfancies；orhavebeentakenawaybysomeunexpectedmisfortune；andnowshehasfallenfromluxurytoindigence。whilethework…womanmanagesnotonlytokeepherlittleroom；butalsotofurnishitwithdecentfortbyhersteadytoil；thatofthesingerisbeethepropertyofbrokers。theonesparkledforamomentonthewaveofprosperity；theothersailsslowlybutsafelyalongthecoastofahumbleandlaboriousindustry。
alas！istherenotherealessonforusall？isitreallyinhazardousexperiments；attheendofwhichweshallmeetwithwealthorruin；thatthewisemanshouldemployhisyearsofstrengthandfreedom？oughthetoconsiderlifeasaregularemploymentwhichbringsitsdailywages；orasagameinwhichthefutureisdeterminedbyafewthrows？whyseektheriskofextremechances？forwhatendhastentorichesbydangerousroads？isitreallycertainthathappinessistheprizeofbrilliantsuccesses；ratherthanofawiselyacceptedpoverty？ah！ifmenbutknewinwhatasmalldwellingjoycanlive；andhowlittleitcoststofurnishit！
twelveoclock鈥斺�攊havebeenwalkingupanddownmyatticforalongtime；withmyarmsfoldedandmyeyesontheground！mydoubtsincrease；likeshadowsencroachingmoreandmoreonsomebrightspace；myfearsmultiply；andtheuncertaintybeeseverymomentmorepainfultome！
itisnecessaryformetodecideto…day；andbeforetheevening！iholdthediceofmyfuturefateinmyhands；andidarenotthrowthem。
threeoclock鈥斺�攖heskyhasbeecloudy；andacoldwindbeginstoblowfromthewest；allthewindowswhichwereopenedtothesunshineofabeautifuldayareshutagain。onlyontheoppositesideofthestreet；thelodgeronthelaststoryhasnotyetlefthisbalcony。
oneknowshimtobeasoldierbyhisregularwalk；hisgraymoustaches；andtheribbonthatdecorateshisbuttonhole。indeed；onemighthaveguessedasmuchfromthecarehetakesofthelittlegardenwhichistheornamentofhisbalconyinmid…air；fortherearetwothingsespeciallylovedbyalloldsoldiers鈥斺�攆lowersandchildren。theyhavebeensolong；obligedtolookupontheearthasafieldofbattle；andsolongcutofffromthepeacefulpleasuresofaquietlot；thattheyseemtobeginlifeatanagewhenothersendit。thetastesoftheirearlyyears；whichwerearrestedbythesterndutiesofwar；suddenlybreakoutagainwiththeirwhitehairs；andarelikethesavingsofyouthwhichtheyspendagaininoldage。besides；theyhavebeencondemnedtobedestroyersforsolongthatperhapstheyfeelasecretpleasureincreating；andseeinglifespringupagain：thebeautyofweaknesshasagraceandanattractionthemoreforthosewhohavebeentheagentsofunbendingforce；andthewatchingoverthefrailgermsoflifehasallthecharmsofnoveltyfortheseoldworkmenofdeath。
thereforethecoldwindhasnotdrivenmyneighborfromhisbalcony。
heisdigginguptheearthinhisgreenboxes；andcarefullysowingtheseedsofthescarletnasturtium；convolvulus；andsweet…pea。henceforthhewilleeverydaytowatchfortheirfirstsprouting；toprotecttheyoungshootsfromweedsorinsects；toarrangethestringsforthetendrilstoclimbon；andcarefullytoregulatetheirsupplyofwaterandheat！
howmuchlabortobringinthedesiredharvest！forthat；howmanytimesshalliseehimbravecoldorheat；windorsun；ashedoesto…day！butthen；inthehotsummerdays；whentheblindingdustwhirlsincloudsthroughourstreets；whentheeye；dazzledbytheglareofwhitestucco；knowsnotwheretorest；andtheglowingroofsreflecttheirheatuponustoburning；theoldsoldierwillsitinhisarborandperceivenothingbutgreenleavesandflowersaroundhim；andthebreezewillecoolandfreshtohimthroughtheseperfumedshades。hisassiduouscarewillberewardedatlast。
wemustsowtheseeds；andtendthegrowth；ifwewouldenjoytheflower。
fouroclock鈥斺�攖hecloudsthathavebeengatheringinthehorizonforalongtimearebeedarker；itthundersloudly；andtherainpoursdown！
thosewhoarecaughtinitflyineverydirection；somelaughingandsomecrying。
ialwaysfindparticularamusementinthesehelter…skelters；causedbyasuddenstorm。itseemsasifeachone；whenthustakenbysurprise；losesthefactitiouscharacterthattheworldorhabithasgivenhim；andappearsinhistruecolors。
see；forexample；thatbigmanwithdeliberatestep；whosuddenlyforgetshisindifference；madetoorder；andrunslikeaschoolboy！heisathriftycitygentleman；who；withallhisfashionableairs；isafraidtospoilhishat。
thatprettywomanyonder；onthecontrary；whoselooksaresomodest；andwhosedressissoelaborate；slackensherpacewiththeincreasingstorm。sheseemstofindpleasureinbravingit；anddoesnotthinkofhervelvetcloakspottedbythehail！sheisevidentlyalionessinsheepsclothing。
here；ayoungman；whowaspassing；stopstocatchsomeofthehailstonesinhishand；andexaminesthem。byhisquickandbusiness…likewalkjustnow；youwouldhavetakenhimforatax…gathereronhisrounds；whenheisayoungphilosopher；studyingtheeffectsofelectricity。andthoseschoolboyswholeavetheirrankstorunafterthesuddengustsofamarchwhirlwind；thosegirls；justnowsodemure；butwhonowflywithburstsoflaughter；thosenationalguards；whoquitthemartialattitudeoftheir
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