《英语天堂》

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英语天堂- 第110部分


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he’s brought her Bible here—to hell with her!”—and the woman laughed a wild and doleful laugh; that rung; with a strange; supernatural sound; through the old ruined shed。
Tom folded his hands; all was darkness and horror。
“O Jesus! Lord Jesus! have you quite forgot us poor critturs?” burst forth; at last;—“help; Lord; I perish!”
The woman sternly continued:
“And what are these miserable low dogs you work with; that you should suffer on their acomount? Every one of them would turn against you; the first time they got a chance。 They are all of ’em as low and cruel to each other as they can be; there’s no use in your suffering to keep from hurting them。”
“Poor critturs!” said Tom;—“what made ’em cruel?—and; if I give out; I shall get used to ’t; and grow; little by little; just like ’em! No; no; Missis! I’ve lost everything;—wife; and children; and home; and a kind Mas’r;—and he would have set me free; if he’d only lived a week longer; I’ve lost everything in this world; and it’s clean gone; forever;—and now I can’t lose Heaven; too; no; I can’t get to be wicked; besides all!”
“But it can’t be that the Lord will lay sin to our acomount;” said the woman; “he won’t charge it to us; when we’re forced to it; he’ll charge it to them that drove us to it。”
“Yes;” said Tom; “but that won’t keep us from growing wicked。 If I get to be as hard…hearted as that ar’ Sambo; and as wicked; it won’t make much odds to me how I come so; it’s the bein’ so;—that ar’s what I’m a dreadin’。”
The woman fixed a wild and startled look on Tom; as if a new thought had struck her; and then; heavily groaning; said;
“O God a’ mercy! you speak the truth! O—O—O!”—and; with groans; she fell on the floor; like one crushed and writhing under the extremity of mental anguish。
There was a silence; a while; in which the breathing of both parties could be heard; when Tom faintly said; “O; please; Missis!”
The woman suddenly rose up; with her face composed to its usual stern; melancholy expression。
“Please; Missis; I saw ’em throw my coat in that ar’ corner; and in my coat…pocket is my Bible;—if Missis would please get it for me。”
Cassy went and got it。 Tom opened; at once; to a heavily marked passage; much worn; of the last scenes in the life of Him by whose stripes we are healed。
“If Missis would only be so good as read that ar’;—it’s better than water。”
Cassy took the book; with a dry; proud air; and looked over the passage。 She then read aloud; in a soft voice; and with a beauty of intonation that was peculiar; that touching acomount of anguish and of glory。 Often; as she read; her voice faltered; and sometimes failed her altogether; when she would stop; with an air of frigid composure; till she had mastered herself。 When she came to the touching words; “Father forgive them; for they know not what they do;” she threw down the book; and; burying her face in the heavy masses of her hair; she sobbed aloud; with a convulsive violence。
Tom was weeping; also; and ocomasionally uttering a smothered ejaculation。
“If we only could keep up to that ar’!” said Tom;—“it seemed to come so natural to him; and we have to fight so hard for ’t! O Lord; help us! O blessed Lord Jesus; do help us!”
“Missis;” said Tom; after a while; “I can see that; some how; you’re quite ’bove me in everything; but there’s one thing Missis might learn even from poor Tom。 Ye said the Lord took sides against us; because he lets us be ’bused and knocked round; but ye see what come on his own Son;—the blessed Lord of Glory;—wan’t he allays poor? and have we; any on us; yet come so low as he come? The Lord han’t forgot us;—I’m sartin’ o’ that ar’。 If we suffer with him; we shall also reign; Scripture says; but; if we deny Him; he also will deny us。 Didn’t they all suffer?—the Lord and all his? It tells how they was stoned and sawn asunder; and wandered about in sheep…skins and goat…skins; and was destitute; afflicted; tormented。 Sufferin’ an’t no reason to make us think the Lord’s turned agin us; but jest the contrary; if only we hold on to him; and doesn’t give up to sin。”
“But why does he put us where we can’t help but sin?” said the woman。
“I think we can help it;” said Tom。
“You’ll see;” said Cassy; “what’ll you do? Tomorrow they’ll be at you again。 I know ’em; I’ve seen all their doings; I can’t bear to think of all they’ll bring you to;—and they’ll make you give out; at last!”
“Lord Jesus!” said Tom; “you will take care of my soul? O Lord; do!—don’t let me give out!”
“O dear!” said Cassy; “I’ve heard all this crying and praying before; and yet; they’ve been broken down; and brought under。 There’s Emmeline; she’s trying to hold on; and you’re trying;—but what use? You must give up; or be killed by inches。”
“Well; then; I will die!” said Tom。 “Spin it out as long as they can; they can’t help my dying; some time!—and; after that; they can’t do no more。 I’m clar; I’m set! I know the Lord’ll help me; and bring me through。”
The woman did not answer; she sat with her black eyes intently fixed on the floor。
“May be it’s the way;” she murmured to herself; “but those that have given up; there’s no hope for them!—none! We live in filth; and grow loathsome; till we loathe ourselves! And we long to die; and we don’t dare to kill ourselves!—No hope! no hope! no hope?—this girl now;—just as old as I was!
“You see me now;” she said; speaking to Tom very rapidly; “see what I am! Well; I was brought up in luxury; the first I remember is; playing about; when I was a child; in splendid parlors;—when I was kept dressed up like a doll; and company and visitors used to praise me。 There was a garden opening from the saloon windows; and there I used to play hide…and…go…seek; under the orange…trees; with my brothers and sisters。 I went to a convent; and there I learned music; French and embroidery; and what not; and when I was fourteen; I came out to my father’s funeral。 He died very suddenly; and when the property came to be settled; they found that there was scarcely enough to cover the debts; and when the creditors took an inventory of the property; I was set down in it。 My mother was a slave woman; and my father had always meant to set me free; but he had not done it; and so I was set down in the list。 I’d always known who I was; but never thought much about it。 Nobody ever expects that a strong; healthy man is going to die。 My father was a well man only four hours before he died;—it was one of the first cholera cases in New Orleans。 The day after the funeral; my father’s wife took her children; and went up to her father’s plantation。 I thought they treated me strangely; but didn’t know。 There was a young lawyer who they left to settle the business; and he came every day; and was about the house; and spoke very politely to me。 He brought with him; one day; a young man; whom I thought the handsomest I had ever seen。 I shall never forget that evening。 I walked with him in the garden。 I was lonesome and full of sorrow; and he was so kind and gentle to me; and he told me that he had seen me before I went to the convent; and that he had loved me a great while; and that he would be my friend and protector;—in short; though he didn’t tell me; he had paid two thousand dollars for me; and I was his property;—I became his willingly; for I loved him。 Loved!” said the woman; stopping。 “O; how I did love that man! How I love him now;—and always shall; while I breathe! He was so beautiful; so high; so noble! He put me into a beautiful house; with servants; horses; and carriages; and furniture; and dresses。 Everything that money could buy; he gave me; but I didn’t set any value on all that;—I only cared for him。 I loved him better than my God and my own soul; and; if I tried; I couldn’t do any other way from what he wanted me to。
“I wanted only one thing—I did want him to marry me。 I thought; if he loved me as he said he did; and if I was what he seemed to think I was; he would be willing to marry me and set me free。 But he convinced me that it would be impossible; and he told me that; if we were only faithful to each other; it was marriage before God。 If that is true; wasn’t I that man’s wife? Wasn’t I faithful? For seven years; didn’t I study every look and motion; and only live and breathe to please him? He had the yellow fever; and for twenty days and nights I watched with him。 I alone;—and gave him all his medicine; and did everything for him; and then he called me his good angel; and said I’d saved his life。 We had two beautiful children。 The first was a boy; and we called him Henry。 He was the image of his father;—he had such beautiful eyes; such a forehead; and his hair hung all in curls around it; and he had all his father’s spirit; and his talent; too。 Little Elise; he said; looked like me。 He used to tell me that I was the most beautiful woman in Louisiana; he was so proud of me and the children。 He used to love to have me dress them up; and take them and me about in an open carriage; and hear the remarks that people would make on us; and he used to fill my ears constantly with the fine things that were said in praise of me and the children。 O; those were happy days! I thought I was as happy as any one could be; but then there came evil times。 He had a cousin come to New Orleans; who was his particular friend;—he thought all the world of him;—but; from the first time I saw him; I couldn’t tell why; I dreaded him; for I felt sure he was going to bring misery on us。 He got Henry to going out with him; and often he would not come home nights till two or three o’clock。 I did not dare say a word; for Henry was so high spirited; I was afraid to。 He got him to the gaming…houses; and he was one of the sort that; when he once got a going there; there was no holding back。 And then he introduced him to another lady; and I saw soon that his heart was gone from me。 He never told me; but I saw it;—I knew it; day after day;—I felt my heart breaking; but I could not say a word! At this; the wretch offered to buy me and the children of Henry; to clear off his gamblng debts; which stood in the way of his marrying as he wished;—and he sold us。 He
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