红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)- 第34部分

ned…　or　making　a　prophetic　lamentation　aboutsomething　that　was　yet　to　happen…　within　the　verge　of　the　dismalforest。　So　Pearl；　who　had　enough　of　shadow　in　her　own　little　life；chose　to　break　off　all　acquaintance　with　this　repining　brook。　Sheset　herself；　therefore；　to　gathering　violets　and　wood…anemones；　andsome　scarlet　columbines　that　she　found　growing　in　the　crevices　of　ahigh　rock。　　When　her　elf…child　had　departed；　Hester　Prynne　made　a　step　or　twotowards　the　track　that　led　through　the　forest；　but　still　remainedunder　the　deep　shadow　of　the　trees。　She　beheld　the　ministeradvancing　along　the　path；　entirely　alone；　and　leaning　on　a　staff　whichhe　had　cut　by　the　wayside。　He　looked　haggard　and　feeble；　andbetrayed　a　nerveless　despondency　in　his　air；　which　had　never　soremarkably　characterised　him　in　his　walks　about　the　settlement；　nor　inany　other　situation　where　he　deemed　himself　liable　to　notice。　Hereit　was　woefully　visible；　in　this　intense　seclusion　of　the　forest；which　of　itself　would　have　been　a　heavy　trial　to　the　spirits。　Therewas　a　listlessness　in　his　gait；　as　if　he　saw　no　reason　for　takingone　step　farther；　nor　felt　any　desire　to　do　so；　but　would　have　beenglad；　could　he　be　glad　of　anything；　to　fling　himself　down　at　theroot　of　the　nearest　tree；　and　lie　there　passive；　for　evermore。　Theleaves　might　bestrew　him；　and　the　soil　gradually　accumulate　and　form　alittle　hillock　over　his　frame；　no　matter　whether　there　were　life　in　itor　no。　Death　was　too　definite　an　object　to　be　wished　for；　or　avoided。　　To　Hester's　eye；　the　Reverend　Mr。　Dimmesdale　exhibited　no　symptom　ofpositive　and　vivacious　suffering；　except　that；　as　little　Pearl　hadremarked；　he　kept　his　hand　over　his　heart。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XVII。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　PASTOR　AND　HIS　PARISHIONER。　　SLOWLY　as　the　minister　walked；　he　had　almost　gone　by；　beforeHester　Prynne　could　gather　voice　enough　to　attract　his　observation。　Atlength；　she　succeeded。　　〃Arthur　Dimmesdale！〃　she　said；　faintly　at　first；　then　louder；　buthoarsely：　〃Arthur　Dimmesdale！〃　　〃Who　speaks？〃　answered　the　minister。　　Gathering　himself　quickly　up；　he　stood　more　erect；　like　a　mantaken　by　surprise　in　a　mood　to　which　he　was　reluctant　to　havewitnesses。　Throwing　his　eyes　anxiously　in　the　direction　of　thevoice；　he　indistinctly　beheld　a　form　under　the　trees；　clad　in　garmentsso；　sombre；　and　so　little　relieved　from　the　grey　twilight　into　whichthe　clouded　sky　and　the　heavy　foliage　had　darkened　the　noontide；that　he　knew　not　whether　it　were　a　woman　or　a　shadow。　It　may　be；that　his　pathway　through　life　was　haunted　thus；　by　a　spectre　thathad　stolen　out　from　among　his　thoughts。　　He　made　a　step　nigher；　and　discovered　the　scarlet　letter。　　〃Hester！　Hester　Prynne！〃　said　he。　〃Is　it　thou？　Art　thou　in　life？〃　　〃Even　so！〃　she　answered。　〃In　such　life　as　has　been　mine　theseseven　years　past！　And　thou；　Arthur　Dimmesdale；　dost　thou　yet　live？〃　　It　was　no　wonder　that　they　thus　questioned　one　another's　actualand　bodily　existence；　and　even　doubted　of　their　own。　So　strangelydid　they　meet；　in　the　dim　wood；　that　it　was　like　the　firstencounter；　in　the　world　beyond　the　grave；　of　two　spirits　who　hadbeen　intimately　connected　in　their　former　life；　but　now　stood　coldlyshuddering；　in　mutual　dread；　as　not　yet　familiar　with　their　state；　norwonted　to　the　panionship　of　disembodied　beings。　Each　a　ghost；　andawe…stricken　at　the　other　ghost！　They　were　awe…stricken　likewise　atthemselves；　because　the　crisis　flung　back　to　them　their　consciousness；and　revealed　to　each　heart　its　history　and　experience；　as　life　neverdoes；　except　at　such　breathless　epochs。　The　soul　beheld　its　featuresin　the　mirror　of　the　passing　moment。　It　was　with　fear；　andtremulously；　and；　as　it　were；　by　a　slow；　reluctant　necessity；　thatArthur　Dimmesdale　put　forth　his　hand；　chill　as　death；　and　touchedthe　chill　hand　of　Hester　Prynne。　The　grasp；　cold　as　it　was；　tookaway　what　was　dreariest　in　the　interview。　They　now　felt　themselves；　atleast；　inhabitants　of　the　same　sphere。　　Without　a　word　more　spoken…　neither　he　nor　she　assuming　theguidance；　but　with　an　unexpressed　consent…　they　glided　back　into　theshadow　of　the　woods；　whence　Hester　had　emerged；　and　sat　down　on　theheap　of　moss　where　she　and　Pearl　had　before　been　sitting。　When　theyfound　voice　to　speak；　it　was；　at　first；　only　to　utter　remarks　andinquiries　such　as　any　tight　have　made；　about　thegloomy　sky；　the　threatening　storm；　and；　next；　the　health　of　each。　Thusthey　went　onward；　not　boldly；　but　step　by　step；　into　the　themes　thatwere　brooding　deepest　in　their　hearts。　So　long　estranged　by　fate　andcircumstances；　they　needed　something　slight　and　casual　to　runbefore；　and　throw　open　the　doors　of　intercourse；　so　that　their　realthoughts　might　be　led　across　the　threshold。　　After　a　while；　the　minister　fixed　his　eyes　on　Hester　Prynne's。　　〃Hester；〃　said　he；　〃hast　thou　found　peace？〃　　She　smiled　drearily；　looking　down　upon　her　bosom。　　〃Hast　thou？〃　she　asked。　　〃None！…　nothing　but　despair！〃　he　answered。　〃What　else　could　I　lookfor；　being　what　I　am；　and　leading　such　a　life　as　mine？　Were　I　anatheist…　a　man　devoid　of　conscience…　a　wretch　with　coarse　and　brutalinstincts…　I　might　have　found　peace；　long　ere　now。　Nay；　I　never　shouldhave　lost　it！　But；　as　matters　stand　with　my　soul；　whatever　of　goodcapacity　there　originally　was　in　me；　all　of　God's　gifts　that　werethe　choicest　have　bee　the　ministers　of　spiritual　torment。　Hester；　Iam　most　miserable。〃　　〃The　people　reverence　thee；〃　said　Hester。　〃And　surely　thou　workestgood　among　them！　Doth　this　bring　thee　no　fort？〃　　〃More　misery；　Hester！…　only　the　more　misery！〃　answered　theclergyman；　with　a　bitter　smile。　〃As　concerns　the　good　which　I　mayappear　to　do；　I　have　no　faith　in　it。　It　must　needs　be　a　delusion。　Whatcan　a　ruined　soul；　like　mine；　effect　towards　the　redemption　of　othersouls？…　or　a　polluted　soul；　towards　their　purification？　And　as　for　thepeople's　reverence；　would　that　it　were　turned　to　scorn　and　hatred！Canst　thou　deem　it；　Hester；　a　consolation；　that　I　must　stand　up　inmy　pulpit；　and　meet　so　many　eyes　turned　upward　to　my　face；　as　if　thelight　of　heaven　were　beaming　from　it！…　must　see　my　flock　hungry　forthe　truth；　and　listening　to　my　words　as　if　a　tongue　of　Pentecostwere　speaking！…　and　then　look　inward；　and　discern　the　black　reality　ofwhat　they　idolise？　I　have　laughed；　in　bitterness　and　agony　of　heart；at　the　contrast　between　what　I　seem　and　what　I　am！　And　Satan　laughs　atit！〃　　〃You　wrong　yourself　in　this；〃　said　Hester　gently。　〃You　have　deeplyand　sorely　repented。　Your　sin　is　left　behind　you；　in　the　days　longpast。　Your　present　life　is　not　less　holy；　in　very　truth；　than　it　seemsin　people's　eyes。　Is　there　no　reality　in　the　penitence　thus　sealed　andwitnessed　by　good　works？　And　wherefore　should　it　not　bring　you　peace？〃　　〃No；　Hester；　no！〃　replied　the　clergyman。　〃There　is　no　substance　init！　It　is　cold　and　dead；　and　can　do　nothing　for　me！　Of　penance；　I　havehad　enough！　Of　penitence；　there　has　been　none！　Else；　I　should　long　agohave　thrown　off　these　garments　of　mock　holiness；　and　have　shown　myselfto　mankind　as　they　will　see　me　at　the　judgment…seat。　Happy　are　you；Hester；　that　wear　the　scarlet　letter　openly　upon　your　bosom！　Mineburns　in　secret！　Thou　little　knowest　what　a　relief　it　is；　after　thetorment　of　a　seven　years'　cheat；　to　look　into　an　eye　that　recognisesme　for　what　I　am！　Had　I　one　friend…　or　were　it　my　worst　enemy！…　towhom；　when　sickened　with　the　praises　of　all　other　men；　I　could　dailybetake　myself；　and　be　known　as　the　vilest　of　all　sinners；　methinksmy　soul　might　keep　itself　alive　thereby。　Even　thus　much　of　truth　wouldsave　me！　But；　now；　it　is　all　falsehood！…　all　emptiness！…　all　death！〃　　Hester　Prynne　looked　into　his　face；　but　hesitated　to　speak。　Yet；uttering　his　long…restrained　emotions　so　vehemently　as　he　did；　hiswords　here　offered　her　the　very　point　of　circumstances　in　which　tointerpose　what　she　came　to　say。　She　conquered　her　fears；　and　spoke。　　〃Such　a　friend　as　thou　hast　even　now　wished　for；〃　said　she；　〃withwhom　to　weep　over　thy　sin；　thou　has　in　me；　the　partner　of　it！〃　Againshe　hesitated；　but　brought　out　the　words　with　an　effort；　〃Thou　hastlong　had　such　an　enemy；　and　dwellest　with　him；　under　the　same　roof！〃　　The　minister　started　to　his　feet；　gasping　for　breath；　andclutching　at　his　heart；　as　if　he　would　have　torn　it　out　of　his　bosom。　　〃Ha！　What　sayest　thou！〃　cried　he。　〃An　enemy！　And　under　mine　ownroof！　What　mean　you？〃　　Hester　Prynne　was　now　fully　sensible　of　the　deep　injury　for　whichshe　was　responsible　to　this　unhappy　man；　in　permitting　him　to　liefor　so　many　years；　or；　indeed；　for　a　single　moment；　at　the　mercy　ofone　whose　purposes　could　not　be　other　than　malevolent。　The　verycontiguity　of　his　enemy；　beneath　whatever　mask　the　latter　mightconceal　himself；　was　enough　to　disturb　the　magic　sphere　of　abeing　so　sensitive　as　Arthur　Dimmesdale。　There　had　been　a　periodwhen　Hester　was　less　alive　to　this　consideration；　or；　perhaps；　inthe　misanthropy　of　her　own　trouble；　she　left　the　minister　to　bear　whatshe　might　picture　to　herself　as　a　more　tolerable　doom。　But　of　late；since　the　night　of　his　vigil；　all　her　sympathies　towards　him　hadbeen　both　softened　and　invigorated。　She　now　read　his　heart　moreaccurately。　She　doubted　not；　that　the　continual　presence　of　RogerChillingworth　the　secret　poison　of　his　malignity；　infecting　all　theair　about　him…　and　his　authorised　interference；　as　a　physician；　withthe　minister's　physical　and　spiritual　infirmities…　that　these　badopportunities　had　been　turned　to　a　cruel　purpose。　By　means　of　them；the　sufferer's　conscience　had　been　kept　in　an　irritated　state；　thetendency　of　which　was；　not　to　cure　by　wholesome　pain；　but　todisorganise　and　corrupt　his　spiritual　being。　Its　result；　on　earth；could　hardly　fail　to　be　insanity；　and　hereafter；　that　eternalalienation　from　the　Good　and　True；　of　which　madness　is　perhaps　theearthly　type。　　Such　was　the　ruin　to　which　she　had　brought　the　man；　once…　nay；　whyshould　we　not　speak　it？…　still　so　passionately　loved！　Hester　felt　thatthe　sacrifice　of　the　clergyman's　good　name；　and　death　itself；　as　shehad　already　told　Roger　Chillingworth；　would　have　been　infinitelypreferable　to　the　alternative　which　she　had　taken　upon　herself　tochoose。　And　now；　rather　than　have　had　this　grievous　wrong　toconfess；　she　would　gladly　have　lain　down　on　the　forest…leaves；　anddied　there；　at　Arthur　Dimmesdale's　feet。　　〃O　Arthur；〃　cried　she；　〃forgive　me！　In　all　thin