《简爱(英文版)》

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简爱(英文版)- 第59部分


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ion to my soul; Jane; a belief in your affection。”
I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder。 I loved him very much—more than I could trust myself to say—more than words had power to express。
“Ask something more;” he said presently; “it is my delight to be entreated; and to yield。”
I was again ready unicate your intentions to Mrs。 Fairfax; sir: she saw me with you last night in the hall; and she was shocked。 Give her some explanation before I see her again。 It pains me to be misjudged by so good a woman。”
“Go to your room; and put on your bon;” he replied。 “I mean you to acpany me to Millcote this morning; and while you prepare for the drive; I will enlighten the old lady’s understanding。 Did she think; Ja; you had given the world for love; and considered it well lost?”
“I believe she thought I had forgotten my station; and yours; sir。”
“Station! station!—your station is in my heart; and on the necks of those who would insult you; now or hereafter。—Go。”
I was soon dressed; and when I heard Mr。 Rochester quit Mrs。 Fairfax’s parlour; I hurried down to it。 The old lady; had been reading her morning portion of Scripture—the Lesson for the day; her Bible lay open before her; and her spectacles were upon it。 Her occupation; suspended by Mr。 Rochester’s announcement; seemed now forgotten: her eyes; fixed on the blank wall opposite; expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred by unwonted tidings。 Seeing me; she roused herself: she made a sort of effort to smile; and framed a few words of congratulation; but the smile expired; and the sentence was abandoned unfinished。 She put up her spectacles; shut the Bible; and pushed her chair back from the table。
“I feel so astonished;” she began; “I hardly know what to say to you; Miss Eyre。 I have surely not been dreaming; have I? Sometimes I half fall asleep when I am sitting alone and fancy things that have never happened。 It has seemed to me more than once when I have been in a doze; that my dear husband; who died fifteen years since; has e in and sat down beside me; and that I have even heard him call me by my name; Alice; as he used to do。 Now; can you tell me whether it is actually true that Mr。 Rochester has asked you to marry him? Don’t laugh at me。 But I really thought he came in here five minutes ago; and said that in a month you would be his wife。”
“He has said the same thing to me;” I replied。
“He has! Do you believe him? Have you accepted him?”
“Yes。”
She looked at me bewildered。 “I could never have thought it。 He is a proud man: all the Rochesters were proud: and his father; at least; liked money。 He; too; has always been called careful。 He means to marry you?”
“He tells me so。”
She surveyed my whole person: in her eyes I read that they had there found no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma。
“It passes me!” she continued; “but no doubt; it is true since you say so。 How it will answer; I cannot tell: I really don’t know。 Equality of position and fortune is often advisable in such cases; and there are twenty years of difference in your ages。 He might almost be your father。”
“No; indeed; Mrs。 Fairfax!” exclaimed I; tled; “he is nothing like my father! No one; who saw us together; would suppose it for an instant。 Mr。 Rochester looks as young; and is as young; as some men at five…and…twenty。”
“Is it really for love he is going to marry you?” she asked。
I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism; that the tears rose to my eyes。
“I am sorry to grieve you;” pursued the widow; “but you are so young; and so little acquainted with men; I wished to put you on your guard。 It is an old saying that ‘all is not gold that glitters;’ and in this case I do fear there will be something found to be different to what either you or I expect。”
“Why?—am I a monster?” I said: “is it impossible that Mr。 Rochester should have a sincere affection for me?”
“No: you are very well; and much improved of late; and Mr。 Rochester; I daresay; is fond of you。 I have always noticed that you were a sort of pet of his。 There are times when; for your sake; I have been a little uneasy at his marked preference; and have wished to put you on your guard: but I did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong。 I knew such an idea would shock; perhaps offend you; and you were so discreet; and so thoroughly modest and sensible; I hoped you might be trusted to protect yourself。  night I cannot tell you what I suffered when I sought all over the house; and could find you nowhere; nor the master either; and then; at twelve o’clock; saw you e in with him。”
“Well; never mind that now;” I interrupted impatiently; “it is enough that all was right。”
“I hope all will be right in the end;” she said: “but believe me; you cannot be too careful。 Try and keep Mr。 Rochester at a distance: distrust yourself as well as him。 Gentlemen in his station are not accustomed to marry their governesses。”
I was growing truly irritated: happily; Adèle ran in。
“Let me go;—let me go to Millcote too!” she cried。 “Mr。 Rochester won’t: though there is so much room in the new carriage。 Beg him to let me go mademoiselle。”
“That I will; Adèle;” and I hastened away onitress。 The carriage was ready: they were bringing it round to the front; and my master was the pavement; Pilot following him backwards and forwards。
“Adèle may acpany us; may she not; sir?”
“I told her no。 I’ll have no brats!—I’ll have only you。”
“Do let her go; Mr。 Rochester; if you please: it would be better。”
“Not it: she will be a restraint。”
He ptory; both in look and voice。 The chill of Mrs。 Fairfax’s warnings; and the damp of her doubts were upon me: something of unsubstantiality and uncertainty had beset my hopes。 I half lost the sense of power over him。 I was about mechanically to obey him; without further remonstrance; but as he helped me into the carriage; he looked at my face。
“What is the matter?” he asked; “all the sunshine is gone。 Do you really wish the bairn to go? Will it annoy you if she is left behind?”
“I would far rather she went; sir。”
“Then off for your bon; and back like a flash of lightning!” cried he to Adèle。
She obeyed him with what speed she might。
“After all; a single morning’s interruption will not matter much;” said he; “when I mean shortly to claim you—your thoughts; conversation; and pany—for life。”
Adèle; when lifted in; menced kissing me; by way of expressing her gratitude for my intercession: she was instantly stowed away into a corner on the other side of him。 She then peeped round to where I sat; so stern a neighbour was too restrictive to him; in his present fractious mood; she dared whisper no observations; nor ask of him any information。
“Let her e to me;” I entreated: “she will; perhaps; trouble you; sir: there is plenty of room on this side。”
He handed her over as if she had been a lapdog。 “I’ll send her to school yet;” he said; but now he was smiling。
Adèle heard him; and asked if she was to go to school “sans mademoiselle?”
“Yes;” he replied; “absolutely sans mademoiselle; for I am to take mademoiselle to the moon; and there I shall seek a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano…tops; and mademoiselle shall live with me there; and only me。”
“She will have nothing to eat: you will starve her;” observed Adèle。
“I shall gather manna for her morning and night: the plains and hillsides in the moon are bleached with manna; Adèle。”
“She will want to warm herself: what will she do for a fire?”
“Fire rises out of the lunar mountains: when she is cold; I’ll carry her up to a peak; and lay her down on the edge of a crater。”
“Oh; qu’ elle y sera mal—peu fortable! And her clothes; they will wear out: how can she get new ones?”
Mr。 Rochester professed to be puzzled。 “Hem!” said he。 “What would you do; Adèle? Cudgel your brains for an expedient。 How would a white or a pink cloud answer for a gown; do you think? And one could cut a pretty enough scarf out of a rainbow。”
“She is far better as she is;” concluded Adèle; after musing some time: “besides; she would get tired of living with only you in the moon。 If I were mademoiselle; I would never consent to go with you。”
“She has consented: she has pledged her word。”
“But you can’t get her there; there is no road to the moon: it is all air; and neither you nor she can fly。”
“Adèle; look at that field。” We were now outside Thornfield gates; and bowling lightly along the smooth road to Millcote; where the dust was well laid by the thunderstorm; and; where the low hedges and lofty timber trees on each side glistened green and rain… refreshed。
“In that field; Adèle; I was walking late one evening about a fortnight since—the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard meadows; and; as I was tired with raking swaths; I sat down to rest me on a stile; and there I took out a little book and a pencil; and began to write about a misfortune that befell me long ago; and a wish I had for happy days to e: I was writing away very fast; though daylight was fading from the leaf; when something came up the path and stopped two yards off me。 I looked at it。 It was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its head。 I beckoned it to e near me; it stood soon at my knee。 I never spoke to it; and it never spoke to me; in words; but I read its eyes; and it read mine; and our speechless colloquy was to this effect—
“It was a fairy; and e from Elf…land; it said; and its errand was to make me happy: I must go with it out of the mon world to a lonely place—such as the moon; for instance—and it nodded its head towards her horn; rising over Hay…hill: it told me of the alabaster cave and silver vale where we might live。 I said I should like to go; but reminded it; as you did me; that I had no wings to fly。
“‘Oh;’ returned the fairy; ‘that does not signify! Here is a talisman will remove all difficulties;’ and she held out a pretty gold ring。 ‘Put it;’ she said; ‘on the fourth finger of my left hand; and I am yours; and you are mine; and we shall leave earth; and make our own heaven yonder。’ She nodded again at the moon。 The ring; Adèle; is in my breeches…pocket; under the disguise of a soverei
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