《简爱(英文版)》

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简爱(英文版)- 第16部分


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“Is it all over?” she asked; looking down at my face。 “Have you cried your grief away?”
“I am afraid I never shall do that。”
“Why?”
“Because I have been wrongly accused; and you; ma’am; and everybody else; will now think me wicked。”
“We shall think you what you prove yourself to be; my child。 Continue to act as a good girl; and you will satisfy us。”
“Shall I; Miss Temple?”
“You will;” said she; passing her arm round me。 “And now tell me who is the lady whom Mr。 Brocklehurst called your benefactress?”
“Mrs。 Reed; my uncle’s wife。 My uncle is dead; and he left me to her care。”
“Did she not; then; adopt you of her own accord?”
“No; ma’am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle; as I have often heard the servants say; got her to promise before he died that she would always keep me。”
“Well now; Jane; you know; or at least I will tell you; that when a criminal is accused; he is always allowed to speak in his own defence。 You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as you can。 Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing。”
I resolved; in the depth of my heart; that I would be most moderate—most correct; and; having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what I had to say; I told her all the story of my sad childhood。 Exhausted by emotion; my language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen’s warnings against the indulgence of resentment; I infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary。 Thus restrained and simplified; it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss Temple fully believed me。
In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr。 Lloyd as having e to see me after the fit: for I never forgot the; to me; frightful episode of the red…room: in detailing which; my excitement was sure; in some degree; to break bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs。 Reed spurned my wild supplication for pardon; and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber。
I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she then said—
“I know something of Mr。 Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees with your statement; you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation; to me; Jane; you are clear now。”
She kissed me; and still keeping me at her side (where I was well contented to stand; for I derived a child’s pleasure from the contemplation of her face; her dress; her one or two ornaments; her white forehead; her clustered and shining curls; and beaming dark eyes); she proceeded to address Helen Burns。
“How are you to…night; Helen? Have you coughed much to…day?”
“Not quite so much; I think; ma’am。”
“And the pain in your chest?”
“It is a little better。”
Miss Temple got up; took her hand and examined her pulse; then she returned to her own seat: as she resumed it; I heard her sigh low。 She was pensive a few minutes; then rousing herself; she said cheerfully—
“But you two are my visitors to…night; I must treat you as such。” She rang her bell。
“Barbara;” she said to the servant who answered it; “I have not yet had tea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies。”
And a tray was soon brought。 How pretty; to my eyes; did the china cups and bright teapot look; placed on the little round table near the fire! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage; and the scent of the toast! of which; however; I; to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry) discerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too。
“Barbara;” said she; “can you not bring a little more bread and butter? There is not enough for three。”
Barbara went out: she returned soon—
“Madam; Mrs。 Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity。”
Mrs。 Harden; be it observed; was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr。 Brocklehurst’s own heart; made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron。
“Oh; very well!” returned Miss Temple; “we must make it do; Barbara; I suppose。” And as the girl withdrew she added; smiling; “Fortunately; I have it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once。”
Having invited Helen and me to approach the table; and placed before each of us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast; she got up; unlocked a drawer; and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper; disclosed presently to our eyes a good…sized seed…cake。
“I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you;” said she; “but as there is so little toast; you must have it now;” and she proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand。
We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which our hostess regarded us; as we satisfied our famished appetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied。
Tea over and the tray removed; she again summoned us to the fire; we sat one on each side of her; and now a conversation followed between her and Helen; which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear。
Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air; of state in her mien; of refined propriety in her language; which precluded deviation into the ardent; the excited; the eager: something which chastened the pleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her; by a controlling sense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns; I was struck with wonder。
The refreshing meal; the brilliant fire; the presence and kindness of her beloved instructress; or; perhaps; more than all these; something in her oind; had roused her powers within her。 They woke; they kindled: first; they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek; which till this hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the liquid lustre of her eyes; ore singular than that of Miss Temple’s—a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash; nor pencilled brow; but of meaning; of movement; of radiance。 Then her soul sat on her lips; and language flowed; from what source I cannot tell。 Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough; vigorous enough; to hold the swelling spring of pure; full; fervid eloquence? Such was the characteristic of Helen’s discourse on that; to me; memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence。
They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past; of countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at: they spoke of books: how many they had read! What stores of knowledge they possessed! Then they seemed so familiar with French names and French authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her father had taught her; and taking a book from a shelf; bade her read and construe a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed; my organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line。 She had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime! no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us both; saying; as she drew us to her heart—
“God bless you; my children!”
Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly; it was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second time breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek。
On reaching the bedroom; we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was examining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns’s; and when we entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand; and told that to…morrow she should have half…a…dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her shoulder。
“My things were indeed in shameful disorder;” murmured Helen to me; in a low voice: “I intended to have arranged them; but I forgot。”
Next morning; Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece of pasteboard the word “Slattern;” and bound it like a phylactery round Helen’s large; mild; intelligent; and benign… looking forehead。 She wore it till evening; patient; unresentful; regarding it as a deserved punishment。 The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school; I ran to Helen; tore it off; and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which she was incapable had been burning in my soul all day; and tears; hot and large; had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her sad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart。
About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated; Miss Temple; who had written to Mr。 Lloyd; received his answer: it appeared that what he said went to corroborate my account。 Miss Temple; having assembled the whole school; announced that inquiry had been made into the charges alleged against Jane Eyre; and that she was most happy to be able to pronounce her pletely cleared from every imputation。 The teachers then shook hands with me and kissed me; and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of my panions。
Thus relieved of a grievous load; I from that hour set to work afresh; resolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard; and my success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory; not naturally tenacious; improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few weeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was allowed to mence French and drawing。 I learned the first two tenses of the verb etre; and sketched my first cottage (whose walls; by…the…bye; outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa); on the same day。 That night; on going to bed; I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes; or white bread and new milk; with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings; which I saw in the dark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees; picturesque rocks and ruins; Cuyp…like groups of cattle; sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses; of birds picking at ripe cherries; of wren’s nests enclosing pearl…like eggs; wreathed about with young ivy sprays。 I examined; too; in thought; the possibility of my ever being able to translate currently a certain little French s
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